The Lounge Lizards Guide to Marriage and Divorce
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This slanderous book was written by the Lounge Lizard, who has an advanced degree in Debauchery from Marquis deSade University.You’ve seen lounge lizards all of your life whenever you enter the latest pickup joint where the voluptuous femme fatales congregate. He is the reptilian creature who’s dressed to the hilt and overwhelms the room with a cornucopia of aftershave lotions while spewing endorphins to reel in any woman within 20 feet. He’s the sly fox who starts out the night with a target of meeting the perfect physical specimen of a woman and after six zombies will likely wind up with someone who looks like his Mother’s older best friend. But it’s OK – as long as he scores - for his objective is to get laid as often as possible with a hit list that varies from Miss America to the ugliest barker in the kennel.He spent many years participating in and carefully observing the pros and cons of single life versus marriage, and especially why men ignorantly leap into the potential death trap of marriage without the slightest idea of the consequences that lie ahead, after divorcing many years ago. He has carefully observed men’s and women’s actions in the dating scene, the happily and miserably married, and the ugly and often repeated divorce scene, so I speak to you from personal experience and not from some shrink’s analysis of marriage statistics.The differences between men and women are as obvious as the nose on your face. Contrary to the most important words in a woman’s vocabulary, the only “relationship” most men understand is that between a beer bottle and his lips. From the time men recognize they have a penis and it’s useful for playtime, they devote their life to sex, sports and booze. In that instant when the sperm joins the egg, women are locked into fanatical devotion to marriage, children and a McMansion in Snobsville.Men have nowhere t
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